The Deceptive Mind - Chapter 8

The Deceptive Mind

Chapter 8

This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised

The moment I deciphered her message I was so excited and surprised at the turn of the fate and the overwhelming events that had taken place that evening. I wanted to meet Gina with alacrity and see what she was up to.  I dressed myself in haste and went downstairs and I was passing my grandpa’s room that heard him call me inside. That was the most disgusting time to pick me for his usual rant. All the excitement and anxiety can be just trashed with his invective and should there be any zest left then it shall be subdued by the stench of his medicines. And I was so unfortunate that my grandpa was given to look after my affairs at my college.

 I saw him lying on his bed and beside was my brother who was 8 years old then. He was my grandpa’s pet and was seen always around him asking for bedtime stories. I am sure he must have had lot of them to share as a 90-year-old with so many dead friends. My brother used to be lean and the doctor advised him to have Vitamin tonic twice daily. This job of administering him the tonic was given to my grandpa. Every day at the prescribed time he will come to my brother with a spoonful of the tonic which used to smell like a strong antibiotic dipped in mint and offer him to have it. More often than not my brother hated it and used to refuse with all this tantrums. After being fed up of pampering him to have the tonic, he used to go in his room and gulp it at once. Later it became a customary to offer my brother the tonic and my grandpa to have it. He drank 6 such bottles after which my father grew suspicious and stopped buying and brought us much-needed relief from that chemical.

So my brother was lying next to him getting ready for another story and the moment I entered into the room my grandpa started denouncing me. He made me listen to all that I missed the other day. He mentioned how I was careless in my studies and how Prakriti, as a benevolent teacher and a solicitor, took care of me. It looked as if he was seeking some assurance from me so I said I will dedicate myself for studies. But I think it really backfired and made him lose his cool and he was yelling at the top of his voice and was having spasms and looked epileptic. This scared my brother so much that he pointed his fingers to me and started crying in loud voice. The whole scene looked like I was a big culprit and the judge was delivering the quantum of punishment right in the courtyard. This time there was no respite and I had to endure that pain but I looked at my watch to see if there is still time to meet Gina.

“Busy sir? Are you busy to go and meet your friends? None of them look decent; they all seem to be some thugs or dacoits. Don’t you have good acquaintances sir? Gina is of your age, am I right sir?

“Yes grandpa”

“Then why the hell don’t you be with her and get some discipline, respect and integrity”

My eyes were wide opened and there was a huge smile on my face and I wanted to make the idea stronger with my support but then he interrupted “Go get my pain relief gel from the cupboard and come here”

I must have been the most ill-treated and misery worn grandson in this world and I was so pitiful for myself to do that service especially when I was expecting some romantic moments that night. Imagine the kind of smell my hands will have and how should I keep her away from the odor.

I took some gel on my hands and started applying on his calf muscle.

“Rub thoroughly, apply some pressure. Be on the calf, be on the calf muscle” he was frantically shouting with her fists held tight and having convulsions.

“Do you also need some vitamin tonic?” he said

“No” I screamed

He thought I was averse to its taste and withdrew the idea of giving me that syrup. My massage did give the effect and soothed all his senses and he said it was enough.

I took leave from the room and filled my hands with soap and washed them thoroughly. Though the smell didn’t go completely but I was satisfied that it will not make Gina upset. I saw my dad’s car parked as he had gone with his friend, so I took the car and headed for Gina’s house. 

Since I used to go to her house quiet often, her mom called Gina to come outside. I asked her if I could take Gina out for the local community hall where chess competition was going on. She agreed happily and more than that I saw Gina excited to get into the car. She did not spend much time in getting ready and was beside me in no time. She was wearing a casual dress and avoided all that gaudy stuff that women wear to boost up their appearance. Her plain clothes and minimal jewelry made her look awesome and I felt her that she was in the purest form of her beauty on that day. She was a dark beauty and had charming smile and eyes to complement them.

I moved out of her lane and took a turn towards the community hall then she said “I hope we are not really going to watch the chess competition”

I asked her to hold on and took her to the mall that was newly opened. You must be wondering what might happen if Prakriti was at that mall. Nah! No chance. I saw her car parked at her house and she never steps out after 8 PM.

The mall was all lit with flashy lights and was looking dazzling. The shops were all new and owners were welcoming the shoppers to step in and have a look at their collection. It was like Christmas evening with so many people filled in the mall and loud music playing from the speakers at all over the place. Gina looked engrossed in ambience and seemed to be lost but she turned to me and asked “Civa, do you prefer to grow your mustache or have a shaven face?” This question made me so uncomfortable and shy and nobody except my mom used to ask me such personal things. I was, for a moment, taken aback but I said I would prefer having a mustache. For which she giggled and said I would look very odd like a mustache drawn on a baby’s face. This made me so embarrassed and also reminded that I was just 15 then.

As you all are aware that I react the way I am treated but since it was a sensitive matter I had to be cautious so I asked her “Do you wear shorts at home?” For which she was cool and said she wears them only before going to bed and though she prefers to wear all the time but her mom was against the idea. Gina has a habit of portraying herself as an easy-going girl with no hard feelings. It will be very difficult to find out if she is doing it deliberately or innocently. There she just spread her skirt with her hands and asked me what I felt about it. I think it will never work for us as long she behaves as a naïve girl and some passions should be evoked with a reasonable stimulant. I decided to poke her heart, hence I said “Like always, gorgeous. This one makes even more charming as it hugs your body tight and shows all your curves. I think they are perfect”. Finally there was a pause in her expressions and slowly a chuckle slipped from her lips and I was confident that my words struck a chord in her.

It was that moment we all die for, the instant when you know your charm has worked. That sensuous experience even before anything has happened is much sweeter than the act itself. Men yearn to reach such intimacy but most of them face an early death with their ego, prejudice and haste. Women have always been in our reach but only for those who have patience and the skill to tap at the right time. May be I was born with this skill or just fortunate to be spontaneous.

I held her hands and took her to the parking lot and sat in my car. She was tensed and was anticipating something from me. I looked around to see if we were in the right place. The parking lot was all secluded and there were all big trees behind. When I turned around I saw some strange figure pass by which looked like a ghost clad in white gown and vanished in no time. I was scared and profusely sweating and it looked all the stories that my grandpa used to tell seemed real. I started the car at once and left that place with jerky movements. Gina was all puzzled and was even more scared when she saw me driving like a psycho that is running away from unknown danger. 

The Deceptive Mind - Chapter 7

The Deceptive Mind

Chapter 7

This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised

I couldn’t concentrate at the gaming center. I missed hitting the ball almost every time I played and was getting disinterested in their company. I took leave from the group citing health reasons and went to the lake front to spend some time alone. I was pensive and trying to contemplate all that happened with Gina and Prakriti.

It is so hard to understand a woman. She is such a wonderful creation of God but her world is entirely different. A man always sees her with the view of his experience and the character that he is made of. For anyone who has the tendency to fall for petty reasons will expect the world to behave similarly but hardly he knows that the society is full of complex elements that act on individuals and detract them from being simple. Emotion for a man is always at his plain sight and he reacts to it with a linear approach but for a woman her reactions to them depend on many factors like integrity, suspicion, reliability and long-term vision. There is nothing wrong in her but that makes her indecisive and too analytical which will hinder her from enjoying some of the best moments of life or in some cases getting into unworthy relationships that will break her heart for a long time.

My feelings towards Prakriti were so pure and passionate and I always felt I can make a world for her and make myself worth to live in it yet she never comes out of that reserved character. And Gina on the other hand has this naïve way of trusting everyone to try to test relationships and later mend them accordingly. This way she gives her heart a chance to get hurt by some of the worst people on earth. I wonder who could halt her from switching relations. . Her ambitious character gave her the courage to move along with people and probably to move on with break up as well. Sometimes it surprises me as to why didn’t she try me?

For a moment I wanted to quit trying both of them but they were the only sweethearts I knew in my life. No one has ever come so close to my heart like both of them. You might be wondering what happens to the other if I get one. I am not greedy to think that I will get both but if I was fortunate enough to get one then I will keep the other one close to heart but at an arm’s length.

If the world is according to our whims then our mind will never have bounds. As an ardent lover it is my duty to have perseverance in my trials but my circumstances show a dismal picture.  My words seem boring but this is a situation that every heartbroken has to go through. Oh! Why am I letting my mind wandering, for it chooses to hover around those angels than seek comfort?  Is this true love or has my mind been deceptive? Wars had been fought and wealth was set as pawn for this single feeling called love. Love is so deceptive that it turns your friends as foes and makes a timid into a ravaging bull. Before my thoughts could engulf me I stood up to see the setting sun. It looked as if the sun is taking down everything along with him and there is no hope for the next day. The phenomenon of Sun set brings cheers for some and a gloomy effect on others and I fall in the latter group.

Since nothing was inspiring I decided to go home and as I was walking past the parking lot a car stopped my way and I looked up and saw Prakriti in it. I was little embarrassed and shy to look at her for what had happened that morning so continued my walk but I heard she called me to sit in the car. Probably it was the student instinct to obey the master I just opened the door and sat in the car but my head hanging low and was looking at my shoes. By the way I had bought them a week ago and the cushion wasn’t like what the store keeper said. Sorry, let us see what happened there. She was so calm while driving and in fact her body language showed she had something strong in her mind. She looked as if she had something to tell and it was just a matter of moments to come by.

“Keep talking, I like when you yap” she said

Do women take advantage when men feel insecure? Does that give them a pleasure to find them in dominance when men succumb? But do I have a choice? I am like a sandwich between a strict teacher and my emotions. So I spoke.

“Well, sorry for disappointing you but I will complete all my assignments and will clear the tests too in this coming session”

“Sshh, not that crap, I am not at the college, tell me all that you wanted to say this morning, no hesitation, come on speak up, don’t think like I am your college teacher”

Trap, pure trap. But what the hell, she wants to hear my heart without the flowers and all that heavy theatricals so why not speak up?

“Prakriti, I mean Maam, you are the most sincere teacher I have even seen in my life”

"Cut the crap and come to the point”

“You know what. Don’t hide your emotions and your beauty behind your discipline and principles. There are bunch of craps who teach far better than you so don t assume that being composed can make you an intellect. And it is not a sin to have feelings on anyone. Let me not lecture you, it is your job not mine. All I say have to say is I love you and I will make a world that you have dreamt of, a world where there are no barriers and passion rules the free mind. I am not those regular guys but I am a man (becoming one) made of self belief and I carry an aggression to achieve the impossible. You are the most beautiful girl I had ever met and you spell a charm on me and make me dreaming about you. I am not a poet so I cannot speak romantically.” While I was speaking my heart she was without any emotions and had a stone face. Our car reached the end of our street and I got scared if she will go and talk to my grandpa and it made me nervous.

She stopped the car and removed her glasses and placed her lips on mine and that made me breathless and nervous. I was startled and drew my lips back but an urge hit me within and I punched her lips with mine. The next few minutes became the most cherished moments of my life. That kiss which was long-awaited was given with an utmost passion and ecstasy. The world around us vanished and I was hugging her tight as strong as my lips were pressing her. I saw her giving up all those worldly barriers and feeling light like a feather. She stopped first and looked away from me and didn’t speak to me for a while. I opened the door silently and walked to my home.

I went into my house and was almost in some dream world and was stopped by my mom. She gave me a book and said Gina asked her to give it to me. It was some “the adventures of Huckleberry Finn”. I took it upstairs and felt a disgrace on Gina on her immaturity.

I had a shower and was still ecstatic of all that happened that evening and came out and again saw the book that Gina had given. With contempt I opened it and saw that she had circled some alphabets on each chapter. I just arranged them in order and I found out the following

There seems to be something special between us. Meet me soon to figure it out.

The Deceptive Mind - Chapter 6

The Deceptive Mind

Chapter 6

This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised

I had half an hour so I went to the flower store near our college as I wanted to gift her one. I was standing there and was overwhelmed with the so many varieties and then the shopkeeper spoke to me

“Sending someone off at the airport sir?”

“No”

“Birthday of a friend sir?”

“Nah”

“Want someone to get well from the ailment?”

“Bah, don’t you have any better occasion other than such heart-rending ones?”

“Aah! I got it sir, I got it, it is love sir it is love, the loveliest emotion. Your classmate sir?”

“You got the reason right but not the person” I had some blush on my face

“Junior sir?”

“Nah, can’t handle immature”

“I got it sir, this time I got you. Senior sir senior, very excellent …according to times….trendy and class….may I suggest this new breed of flower which is not available anywhere in this city sir….just got this imported ….there is no name to it yet….the scientific name is too confusing sir..but suits your occasion”

“Well what if I say she is my teacher?”

I saw his eyes open wide with half astonishment and half contempt but his goal was to sell flowers so he said “Very daring sir, I tell you very bold, trendsetter….by the way double your age sir ?”

“Why do you poke your nose too much? Show me any good flower which suits a beautiful woman, age doesn’t matter but what she holds in my heart does”

“Special place sir, she holds a special place in your heart. May I suggest this new bunch of turquoise blue tulips, very rare…specially grafted…can’t find in the city”

“How much”

“Wouldn’t cost much sir, just 500 a bunch”

“Good God, you know white ones are 50 a bunch and how come these ones are so expensive?”

“Specially grafted sir,  gardener has to take extreme care….not easily grown…value for money sir and madam will enjoy sir, elderly women like something different, white is regular……but this color is like you, bold and courageous ”

“Fine” I left him with my 500 bucks and a conclusion that I am dating a middle-aged woman; I did that on purpose because if I tell him her age there is no one except Prakriti in our college. That leaves an opportunity for him to draw opinions on her. 

I went to the cafeteria and she was already sitting at a corner. I went to her and extended my hands and offered the flowers. She was already furious and those flowers made her even worse. She hit them on the table and kept her hand on them crushing and spoke at length about my behavior and how she has been tolerant and how she respects my family. She was screaming on my academic performance and wondered why I was finding it hard to concentrate. She termed my feelings towards her as pure infatuation and was no better than a kid crying for TV remote. How sheepish was her analogy? My deep heavy emotions were no better than a child’s rant!. Finally she left with serious deadlines to complete my assignments and attend lab sessions regularly. I was sitting there staring at those crushed petals of tulips.

What a magnificent waste she was? Will she ever come out of those serious thoughts? Who will teach her how to enjoy life? She was so unmoved even after such dedication, sincerity and passion. Who will ever look at that stone face? Let her go to hell with her class.

I left the flowers on the table and went to the basketball court with my face sunk inside. I saw Aron waiting for me and I joined him.

“Civa(that is  my name), I saw you with some tulips, who gave you?”

“Huh, gave? I bought them for 500”

“What? They are not worth more than 50, you were ripped off dude”

“It doesn’t matter now, I am not in a right mood, had to hear some nonsense with Prakriti”

“Take it easy man; you are used to it anyway. Hey, I forgot to mention, I got the info about Gina, that guy whom she was in that park is a total jerk of all times. God knows why she went with him but now no more. It was a short-lived relation and she found the truth about him. “

“Really! Are you serious? You made my day man. I think this is what those spiritual speakers say. What they callit? When God closes a door then opens another, something of that sort. No kidding, so she is all single now.”

“Yep, to the best of my knowledge she is in the right mind to be tapped for a jingle”

He was holding his head high with pride like a sleuth who cracked a mystery. I looked at my watch it was about noon and I knew where she could be. I set my hair and tucked my shirt and was getting ready but was stopped by our guys who just came back from the movie. Kiran started lecturing me for missing the movie and insisted that I join them for lunch and then to the bowling alley. My pleads for letting me go was categorically rejected and looked like they were all upset for my absence. With no choice I obeyed their orders and asked Aron to join me and share more info about Gina.

The Deceptive Mind - Chapter 5

The Deceptive Mind

Chapter 5

This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised

Next morning I wanted to sneak out as quietly as possible but my grandpa was sitting in the hall reading his newspaper. I didn’t speak a word while taking my shoes from the rack and was wearing them and he was following my footsteps and was watching me like those falcons that lock the target.  But I didn’t make an eye contact and left my home and took a deep breath after I crossed few streets.

We have come to a point that I have to tell you about my friends. I had few at college and outside but let me start with my classmates. There was Mohan, Kiran, Lucky and Suresh and by the virtue of being classmates I had special affinity towards them. Generally they were well matured guys and used to take life seriously. Mohan always gives this picture of a huge responsibility on his shoulders and all his future lies in what he does now. Kiran was matured of all, probably because he wanted to be a brotherly figure in the group and was always taking an advisory role whenever a crisis occurred. Lucky was more of my type - flirtatious, energetic and smart. Suresh had a mixture of all our features with a balanced approach. I will tell about these guys by and by when we move forward with the story. All I have to say now is that we used to gather everyday at basketball court and then go to class. All the plans for the day were designed at that place and whenever I had nothing to do I used to be there waiting for anyone to join.

I saw them gathered at the court as usual and I joined them and said “Did you guys do the math assignment? I totally lost on it and I am sure I will have a hell of a time”

Kiran said “You are spared, the math teacher is on a leave and science class too has been postponed. We only have computer class but we are all planning for a movie and declare a holiday here”

Coming to think of it, I mean the computer class it brought Prakriti into my mind. Such a matured girl she was and I think I shouldn’t call her a girl anymore but rather a fine woman. Was she really concerned on my academics or did my taunts paid off. Was there some unknown feeling that was brewing in her that I was unable to realize. Was I naïve to not to notice the changes in her behavior or has she been subtle in her expressions. It is so complex in understanding a woman; though her heart yearns for love her determination can keep her calm like a still water. It was so rewarding to know that I was in her thoughts and I am worthy as to seek her love and make her world a better place. I felt I was deeply missing her and wanted to see her at once, so I went to the staff room.

While I was close to it I heard two low voices. It was of Biology and English teachers. Biology teacher was in his early 40 and had a protruding belly and had a bald head. He used to wear a wrist watch made of steel and had a habit of twisting his wrist to hear the clinking of the metal. Our English teacher was around of the same age and was divorced few years ago. She was charming for her age; I think all the English teachers gave lot of importance to grooming and prefer to look tidy. She too was dressed appropriately to hide her extra flab on her and looked youthful. She had the habit of wearing very tight dress that she had to keep her shoulders straight and stretched, this made her look buxom as her bosom was always held high. Biology teacher was Franklin and she was Lathika.

Franklin was sitting few feet away from her and when he noticed that there was no one in the staff room he pulled the chair couple of feet closer and murmured something to her. It must have been something dirty and she was blushing and he moved his chair still further. While she was still giggling on his jokes he held her hand and put an arm around her and pulled her closer. I got so nervous that I just wanted to flee from that place and swiftly turned to run and bumped into Prakriti at the entrance. I was trembling with fear and embarrassment while I was standing close to her. I saw her deep brown eyes looking at me and she was surprised see me. She didn’t look upset or sore on me but rather puzzled. Without a word I left that place and ran towards the court.

There my friends were all ready to go for a movie and Lucky was flashing the tickets, Kiran got his car and waved at me to come in. Mohan as usual told them that the budget allocated for this event was 200 bucks and he doesn’t intend to spend a penny more. Suresh was having his smoke before stepping into the car. I went to them and said I was summoned at the principal’s office and I can’t make it for the movie. All were screaming and swearing at the principal but I convinced them to keep calm and go for the movie. I promised to join them at the bowling alley after their movie. I wasn’t interested in that movie anyway, they were going for this war movie where they show gunfire for almost 90 minutes and occasional romance between the sergeant and army doctor, the sergeant goes for the war and later the doctor gets the news that he was killed in cross fire. And she remains as a spinster for the rest of her life. What a tragedy and we have to pay to watch such movies. I mean, can’t she just find another guy, the sergeant is dead and it is not like he ditched or something.

The real reason for not going to the movie was I wanted to meet Prakriti and apologize. It was the best time when no one was around and I can just say sorry and vanish. How matured and how considerate she was that I haven’t seen such a woman in my class or in our staff. I know she likes me and has a soft corner for me and that is why she has been so eager to make me right and probably she will find pride when she makes me a complete man. She deserves that sorry from me and it should bring truce and start a new chapter in our relation.

I was so scared to peep into that staff room; earlier incident was so dreadful and couldn’t imagine how embarrassing it might have been for all three of them. Nevertheless, I got courage to step at the door. What I saw was Ms.Lathika was sitting next to Prakriti and was flaunting all her new jewelry and on the other corner Franklin was correcting the answer sheets of Biology test that happened recently.

“Lo and Behold, your menace is here” said Franklin. 

Lathika just hid her jewelry in her blouse as if she was stuffing everything into a box and went to her table and was eyeing what Franklin was doing. He was making his watch to clink and probably it meant that he wanted to meet her outside so she walked out of the room and he too left in no time.

It made me more nervous to find myself in a room only with Prakriti, it was so strange and scary. I went close to her and it surprised me to see that she was not wearing glasses and her attire too was different. She was really looking like a college girl who should be sitting in our class next to me. She was wearing some long ear rings that were dancing every time she moved. I stood by her table and saw she was wearing a perfectly fit dress and looking gorgeous.

When my faculties are challenged and when I feel that I have been cornered or when I might be facing a failure, I evoke my courage and test its limits and restore my confidence and strength. That moment when I was at her desk it was important for me to have a smooth traction between us that keeps pulling her towards me. The motive doesn’t end at an apology but to embark on a wonderful relation that should transform from what we were to what we could be.  So more than a sorry it will be coffee than can make wonders.

With a determined voice I said “Prakriti, thanks for coming to my home, grandpa was very happy to see you. I was just thinking if we could go for a coffee and have a small talk. I think we need to settle few things” That recitation was done without a pause or intonation and later I was breathing heavily.

“I don’t want to come to your regular coffee shops that you take Gina and the rest of the girls to….I know how they are ridiculed. I can come to our college cafeteria and I too have something to talk to you”

“Excellent, that will be fine; I will see you in half an hour there. By the way you are looking gorgeous, I know you will get mad at me but can’t stop complimenting” I was almost at the exit door and before I lost sight of her I saw her countenance change from a serious one to blushing.

The Deceptive Mind - Chapter 4

The Deceptive Mind 

Chapter 4

This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised.

After paying my bills at the Café I went to the gaming parlor. I had to get my adrenalin pumping after this grand dud of meeting Gina and ruining my afternoon. This is where we all go wrong, we expect too much and go after them but they treat you like no big deal. Huh! America! That’s the big deal. I stepped into the parlor and found Aron had already left. I had nothing to do at home, so I sat on a gaming machine and started playing Space Commanders. I stayed there for almost 3 hours and blew 200 bucks which was five times more than what I usually do. I was feeling tired and left for home.

It was already sunset and the streets were getting dark. I reached my home and threw my bag on the couch and saw some candies on the table. I picked one up and was eating but something strange hit my mind. They were unusual and my mom can’t make it or we won’t buy it. They looked as if some traditional recipe of eastern side of the country. My heart was not able to anticipate but the logical mind pointed them to Prakriti.

“Mom, how did we get those candies? Did anyone come?”

“Your computer teacher came this evening and she brought those sweets. She was with your grandpa for the most of the time. Why are you looking so pale? Whats wrong with you, why are you trembling, wait don’t go upstairs before having your dinner”

I ran towards the stairs and was about to vanish but I heard my grandpa calling me. His room is right next to the stairs and it is so strategically located that he can see what is going in the hall. I could not have avoided going to his room so there I was standing in front of him. He is a staunch reader of various philosophy books. But I doubt if he can make any sense out of it. Every time he reads a book he gets so inspired by the author that he hangs a picture on the wall. I see on one side there is this picture of Ayn Rand with a cigarette in her hand and quiet opposite to that there is this portrait of Immanuel Kant with his serene smile looking at Ayn. But they both are so contradicting in their ideologies that it looked very strange.

His room had this distinct smell of medicines that you feel like puking. He is so fond of them that for each ailment he keeps three different kinds of medicines from Allopathic, Homeopathy and Ayurveda. He had 3 different shelves and named them after those 3 branches of medicine and then labeled the medicines for what it corresponds to. There are so many bottles that the room smells like a chemistry lab. I would give hundred bucks that can stand there for 5 mins.

He used to keep a walking stick next to him, though he never used it for walking yet he always had it handy. He had a habit of pointing the stick to the person he is talking. He raises the stick to your nose level that it looks so intimidating when talking to him.

While I was standing there with utter dismay and anxiety he raised his stick and said “How is it going boy?”

“Pretty well grandpa, pretty well, you don’t know how interesting the college is. These days I have this special interest in computers and they make me work all day on them”

“Computers eh! Very nice, can you just bring me that eucalyptus oil from that shelf and pull a chair”

I took the bottle from his shelf and gave it to him.

“Come sit down, we need to talk”

I sat near the window and kept my elbow on the sill and there was this Murphy radio which was turned on all day. It was always tuned to one station and usually the one which gives lots of news and welfare and development programs for the underprivileged.  It was evening time so there was some program for little kids. The window was open and a cool breeze was brushing me softly.

“Discipline” this word he stressed and interjected loudly. It usually means that it will take a long time for him to finish. “Discipline is what you guys are lacking, when I was a boy like you all I had to do was to study and respect elders. Do you even know the meaning of respect boy?

“Yes grandpa I know, I scored well in English”

“Are you sarcastic mister?”

“No, I mean I am able to understand what you are talking and I agree that this generation lacks all those good qualities that you people had”

“Hmm, so you agree that you have not been able to be respectful, why is this Goddamn cap so tight. Every time it spills on my pajamas. Nobody maintains quality these days. You know in 1946 I bought Rex Shoes made out of leather and I used them till you were born. Your grandma threw them away or else I would have shown you. She thought they were ripped off, bah, I could have stitched them myself”

I swear that the breeze is really having an effect on me, besides the radio too has been too much of a distraction.

“Boy, are you studying well? How are your grades? Why do you look so pale? Your computer teacher asked me to visit your college to have a look at your scores. Don’t turn away, look at me.”

My eyes were dropped dead and I was half conscious with a mixed attention on my grandpa and the radio.

“I never thought you would become this…..Mary had a little lamb Mary had a little lamb….In those days I was appreciated for just being polite…..Wheels of the bus go round and round all through the town……I didn’t spare your dad, don’t expect me to be soft and all…..One two buckle my shoe…

I didn’t know when I slept but I was woken up by my mom in the night and asked me to have my dinner and go to my bed. I saw my grandpa was fast asleep with his mouth wide open and snoring heavily like a tractor. I took a couple of bagels and rushed into my room and didn’t bother to eat them and slipped into a deep slumber.